D-day is fast approaching, and by that I mean decision day. This limbo of not knowing whether JG, affectionately known as my best friend, is my friend or not will come to an end. Due to the time difference, hopefully by tomorrow night, into the early morning of April 1st, I should know something. He’s not a coward, at least I don’t think so, meaning I would expect him to explain this nightmare, however, another friend of mine made something very clear to me.
He said, “you’ve been living your worst nightmare for nearly two weeks, but I wonder if he’s thought of you at all.”
That alone is enough to make me realize I may not be as important to him as he is to me, and that hurts as much as finding out I was blocked. Again, this is all theory and us trying to get answers when right now, we can’t. We must hear from him. If he hadn’t blocked me, I would be bouncing with excitement that he would be back to his home soon, meaning I would get to speak with him like usual, but while I am excited, there’s a lot of apprehension. I’m scared the answer will never come. I’m scared the answer will be that he no longer wants me around.
Its like the moments during a storm warning, when the wind dies down. That moment of calm aka the calm before the storm. Is the storm over, or is it the calm just before a tornado comes barreling into your home, tossing out everything you knew and loved, and destroying things, leaving you to pick up the pieces.
That all falls on the perfect day. Tomorrow, my area is in an enhanced risk for storms, and they are saying it could get rough. With a torcon of 5, not only will there be literal storms, but figuratively as well.
I pray for the best outcome in both situations.