JCHS Class of 2002. Indians forever.

Firstly, yes our mascot was the Indians, and if anyone shouts racism, or cultural appropriation, I will find you, and throw something at you. Consider the fact many of us are native descent, and your whining is hearby moronic.
But that’s not what I came to speak of.

No. As you all may be aware, last week, another classmate of ours left us. He was rear ended by a, what I presume to be a distracted driver, while on his motorcycle. He didn’t make it.

First up, put your phones down. I am merely speculating at this point, but it’s a known fact that drivers using their phones cause too many accidents. So, put your phone down. It can wait.

However, I must gloat on my class. We graduated fourteen long years ago, and the man who passed, didn’t actually graduate with us. He had to leave in the middle of high school to care for his ailing mother, who passed in 2001.

And now he is with her. Finally able to see her like he has been waiting to do for the past fifteen years.

Even though he didn’t graduate with us, he was still an Indian. He was still a part of us, and we all reconnected once social media became a thing. He wasn’t any different. So, when we heard of what happened, our class banded together, once again, taking donations, mainly for flowers from our class as a whole, but we hoped for a little extra to give his family to help with costs. He was young. Just 31 years old, and at that age, we all presume we have a lot of time left, so nobody thinks of life insurance, or pre funeral planning, and funerals are expensive. I’m not sure how much the average cost in America is, but I once read that it was around $6,000. Even his obituary had an in lieu of flowers, asking for donations to help with costs, and we didn’t expect to raise as much as we did.

After it was all said and done, we purchased a $30 arrangement, and was able to give his family, $315 to help with costs. I know in a sense, compared to costs, maybe that’s not that much, but it was more than we anticipated, and because of all of this, I am so proud of my class.

I have shared this quote before, and it fits here. Rest in peace, Mark. Enjoy the Yahtzee game with your mother. We will miss you.

“That which belongs to fellowship and love, that which belongs to the circle, remains with us. The wheel turns. As life is a day, so our brother has passed into night. Nothing is final, and we who remain behind know that one day, we will once again share the bread and wine with our brother.
O’ blessed spirit, we bid you farewell, for you await a new destiny.”

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Niche erotica, starring people you don’t like

Chuck Tingle has inspired me to start writing niche erotica in my spare time, and it will star characters based on people I don’t like, because I am immature.

First story will be gay, possibly dinosaur, or objectum sexual based, starring a tall, long haired, slender Balkan with a large nose who will be seduced by a large, sexy water tower. Afterwards a pterodactyl will swoop in, and take him to his nest, and– what’s that? Someone already did the pterodactyl thing?

Shit.

Okay, well after making love to the water tower, a …. centaur will whisk him away to centaurville, where he meets the… half ape, half horse man of his dreams, and they get married, and pop out a couple of centaur babies. Then Yankow, our protagonist, finds out that the centaur is cheating, and he divorces him and moves to Los Angeles where he meets a sexy fender that belongs to Ice Cubes Bentley. After a particularly hot scene, the fender whisks him away to the Bahamas where he is eaten by a shark.

Sounds ridiculous?

Its not any more ridiculous than what Chuck Tingle puts out!

Yes, I read the jet plane one, and two others out of curiosity.

Just… I can’t even explain it. Just read one. Or go to YouTube and find a dramatic reading of it. The guy is getting popular. I guess that’s the way to get successful. Don’t write an amazing epic, or a fantasy, or a story where you kill everyone (looking at you Martin).

Niche erotica is the future.

THIS SONG IS DEEP!

There are a lot of songs out there, usually out of one hit wonders, that get labeled as novelty songs, and more often than not, people claim the song is bad, and that they hate it. However, some times a well known band puts out a song, and it is thrown under the bus as a stupid, meaningless song, and people wonder how it even charted. Today’s terms call this an, “awesomely bad” song.

Case in point, the authors of the popular song, “white rabbit” known to 60s fans as Jefferson Airplane, decided to put out a song in the 80s, under practically the same name, except airplane was replaced with starship. Now, I don’t know a thing about these guys. I was also too lazy to look anything up. I’m just here to tell you that their 80s song, “We Built This City,” is actually pretty deep. Despite cries about how it’s dumb and awful, it actually does have a message, and I presume most who trash it, never actually paid attention. In fact, the song is so bad, I referenced it in my book, “Subject Alpha,” available on Amazon for just 99 cents!

So now, I present to you, dear readers, and those of you who only read my blog because you think me an entertaining trainwreck (I love you guys, too) I present to you the real meaning of Jefferson Starship’s, “We Built This City.” Remember, my thoughts are in parenthesis!

“We Built This City”

Music and lyrics by Jefferson Starship

We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll
(The only city I know of that was truly built on rock n roll would be San Francisco. This song came out in the 80s. Picture it, San Francisco, circa 1980s)
Built this city
We built this city on rock and roll

Say you don’t know me or recognize my face
(Obviously this man has run into somebody from his past who doesn’t seem to be happy to see him)
Say you don’t care who goes to that kind of place
(I’m assuming these two used to hang out at a seedy bar or perhaps a free love convention, and one still goes while the other doesn’t, and is trying to distance himself from it, while appearing non judgmental)
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
(The 1980s was notorious for the yuppie movement. Free lovers from the 60s had turned to corporate robots, working a 9-5, and fighting for the American dream, but…)
Too many runaways eating up the night
(It backfired, see the 1980s saw a mass influx of teenage runaways who felt stifled by what was expected of them by their parents. Here, he’s suggesting that the yuppie parenting isn’t working for teens. They’re running away because they want the freedom to be themselves, and not a corporate robot that their parents turned into)

Marconi plays the mambo, listen to the radio
(Marconi invented the radio, primarily to send messages to and from various people. Remember the titanic? Those messages were sent on an old Marconi rotary spark gap. I don’t know if the man did much with Mambo, however)
Don’t you remember?
We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll
(Here, he’s trying to remind his former hippie friend that they built an entire generation on free love, rock n roll, and over all good times.)

We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll
Built this city
We built this city on rock and roll
(Just hammering the point home in a chorus. You can’t complain about repetition. Today’s music has a ton of annoying repetition. See– any hip hop or pop song)

Someone’s always playing corporation games
(Meaning, you may think you’re free. You may think you control your life, but you don’t. The corporation you work for, owns you)
Who cares, they’re always changing corporation names
(The 1970s-1980s saw a lot of mergers, and corporate name changes. This lyric also alludes to the fact that two people call things by different names, but it’s still the same thing.)
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
(Here, she means that the place they used to be themselves at, is no longer there. The people, the stage, it’s all gone. Its a heart wrenching lyric about how painful changing times can be)
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page
(Because they still adhere to their lifestyle from the 60s, they are called irresponsible and ignored by those who changed)

Marconi plays the mambo, listen to the radio
Don’t you remember?
We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll

We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll
Built this city
We built this city on rock and roll
(It’s a catchy little diddy. .)

It’s just another Sunday
In a tired old street
Police have got the choke hold, oh
Then we just lost the beat
(Sunday is full of church goers and laziness. Your last day off before being a slave to the grind for five days straight. Here they mean that they are no longer allowed to speak out, or protest, because the cops will stifle them. It also alludes to most people using Sunday as a day of rest. Those who do, dare not use that day off to go protest change somewhere. Even if they did, the cops shut them down. Not that people would listen anyways)

Who counts the money underneath the bar?
Who rides the wrecking ball into our guitars?
(They are alluding to the idea that selling out, and money force bad change onto musicians. Like Jefferson Starship.)
Don’t tell us you need us ’cause we’re the ship of fools
Looking for America, coming through your schools
(This means, whether you like it or not, no matter how much you try to shelter or influence your child to be like you, musicians that you don’t like, with their ideas you hate, will find a way into your child’s mind. You cannot force your child to be just like you.)

(Here was a radio clip where some guy was looking over the golden gate bridge on a sunny Saturday. I’ll ignore it. It serves no point.)

The rest of the song is repetition of the chorus. So I’ll leave that out since it’s been discussed.
Now, take a close look at those lyrics. This song is about never forgetting your roots. This song is about not being a corporate slave. This song is telling you to let your children be who they want to be!
Bet you never thought of it that way before!
Man, this song is deep!!

People don’t forget. Nothing is ever forgiven.

You know, Red Dead Redemption is full of amazing quotes for a game that features a dumb cowboy for a protagonist. Don’t get me wrong, its one of my favorite games, and I love the Marston family, but one has to admit he lacks brains.

Today, I thought of something. Its been near two months since I last spoke to that Macedonian moron. That half ass apology on April 2nd doesn’t count, and I realized, aside from some deaths (I am not speaking of it. Its not wise to mention the dead) my life has gotten significantly better. No longer has my time been consumed by a moron with horrible music taste (only listening to ONE genre automatically makes you have no taste. Sorry.), who hasn’t played any good games (RDR? Chrono Trigger/Cross, FF6, Dragonage origins, Fable 2, Earthbound, Mother- -he’s never played them), and frankly he has the personality of a dustbin. He’s about as deep as a July puddle in Arizona. That leads into- –

The fuck was I thinking? I know what he was thinking (*cue Shane McMahons theme*), but my lapse in judgment is embarrassing. Not just that, but really he wasn’t that attractive either. I tried boosting his ego (he faked low self esteem) by saying he was attractive. Silly girl. Really, you aren’t that attractive, but at this point you could be 1990s Brad Pitt, and what you’ve done makes you uglier than an exploded pimple. You’re evil, sir. Evil enough that I can bad mouth you to the world and not feel remotely sad about it. Maybe when a real apology pops out of your mouth I’ll bad mouth others.

One question though, is there trouble in paradise? I hear the relationship is on the rocks (you will never be privy to who I get my info from. I know more people than you care to believe). I had to laugh when I heard about that.

But enough wasting my precious breath on you.

I spoke to a real friend, and I’ve decided to do a list of the best things to come out of every country I care to name.

Example: Britain could be tea. Ireland could be Guinness. Germany could be bratwurst. Denmark would be Aqua (Barbie girl song), Sweden might be Abba, and Macedonia would be… … uhhh. .. Vlado Janevski?

Clearly the list will be more comprehensive and should be fun to put together. So, stay tuned for that. Also, my next THIS IS DEEP, is coming. So, prepare yourselves!

Be well, guys!

Put your scissors down, Atropos!

More losses.

I am really starting to hate 2016.
Firstly, my idol as a teenager, the 9th wonder of the world, and first female intercontinental champion; WWE’s Chyna, was found dead two days ago. It upset me tremendously. She was my idol. I respected her more than the other women. While they were doing bra and panties matches, she was fighting men, and tossing them like ragdolls. Her physique was unlike the others. Instead of a slender, feminine frame, she had muscles and strength and that’s what drew me to her. Unfortunately, her stint didn’t last long for various reasons but she left a lasting impact in the business. She paved the way for intergender competition (I do wish they’d do it more). Her downfall was horrible to watch. She went from being an idol, to making porn and getting involved in substance abuse, and it affected her behavior. That being said, she was a wonderful person. She did a lot for the women’s division and whether you liked her or not, you have to respect her, at least as a champion.
According to various sources, she had been dead for days before she was found, and that’s heartbreaking, to know she died alone, and God knows what was going through her head. All we know is it was a possible overdose, intentional or not, nobody knows, but it pains the soul to know that days went by before she was found. I will always remember her for the woman she was in the ring. In fact, one of my favorite matches was her hardcore match with Jeff Jarrett where she won the IC title for the first time. That’s right, she held it TWICE. She was also the first ever female participant in the royal rumble. When I think of women’s wrestling, I always think of Chyna. Its a tragic loss. I must say, I pray she finally gets the recognition she deserves and gets put in the hall of fame. HHH and the other corporate members can no longer say porn is why she is excluded and not being considered, since now Sunny has done porn (with her HOF ring on, and this is after she tried to sell it) and she remains in the HOF. Time will tell, but if any woman deserves HOF, Its Chyna.

Then the next day, we learned that iconic musician Prince was found dead in his home in Minnesota. I admit, I was not a Prince fan, and I only liked two to three songs of his, but I will not deny how talented he was. He was influential, and from my understanding, an overall wonderful person. Even though I was not really a fan, admittedly the loss is devastating.

Then today..
Dear God, today, the third day in a row…
Firstly, I went to a small high school with less than 500 students in the whole school. In fact, my graduating class had less than 100 students. We all knew each other, and while we didn’t always see eye to eye, we usually got along. It was rare to see a fight, and truthfully, we never really had exclusive cliques. We all held a common love for each other, whether we agreed or not, and I have been told that makes my class and school unique. So, when one classmate dies, it really does affect us all. We all usually know the person well, and it saddens us all, leaving us devastated.

Today, we lost a man named Mark Baier. He was killed in a motorcycle wreck in Marion, Illinois on route 13. I do not know the specifics, nor do I care to, but I pray he didn’t suffer. It devastated me to hear he was gone, and while we didn’t talk as much as we did then, I still cared for him. I still felt close to him, as did the rest of my classmates. He was a wonderful person, with a heart of gold, and truly, the world lost a good man. Our class is banding together, as we usually do, even 14 years after graduating, to send flowers and offer prayers and help to his immediate family. I believe to some, that makes us weird, but to me, it makes me proud to be from Johnston City, Illinois.
Oh Mark, I know you won’t see this. Right now, you are probably joyously reuniting with your mother, who passed while we were in school. I remember that. You were devastated. Now, you can finally see her, like you’ve wanted to for so long. While I wish we could keep you here with us, perhaps you are happy where you are. I am rambling, but dammit Mark, we will miss you so damn much! We loved you. We love you still. Fly high, Mark. We will not forget you and we will see you again some day.

Best break up song

As I have said, break up songs work well on ended friendships too, and I had forgotten all about this song. I had a laugh when I heard it again. Its called, “One More Minute,” by the amazing Weird Al Yankovic. You know you’ve made it as an artist if he wants to parody you, and while this isn’t a parody, and is one of his originals, its brilliant.

Done in 1950s doo wop style, it speaks the truth of how we all feel when someone leaves and we finally see just how shitty of a person they are, and how you’re better off without them.

Here’s to you, Janko. Cheers!

One more Minute, by Weird Al Yankovic.

Aahh

Well I heard that you’re leavin’ (leavin’)
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
‘Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I’m not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That’s right (that’s right) you ain’t gonna see me cryin’
I’m glad (I’m glad) that you found somebody new
‘Cause I’d rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
‘Cause I’m stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain’t (you ain’t) gonna break my heart in two
‘Cause I’d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I’d rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I’d rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can’t you see what I’m tryin’ to say, Darlin…

I’d rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I’d rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I’d rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I’d rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I’d rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it ’till I die
Than spend one more minute with you

Our time is passed, J.

I’m slowly returning from my hiatus. All I have for you today are two quotes from one of my favorite games. The first being the title of this blog. It was said by Dutch van der Linde to John Marston. However, the next quote is better.

“You can’t escape the past, Marston. Everyone eventually pays for what they’ve done.”

That’s all for today. Always remember that quote. It is very true, like it or not.

Be well, readers.