Game recommendation

Firstly, I have to admit that my keyboard is broken, and I have yet to leave the house to get a new laptop, or just a new keyboard, so here you will find me typing out numbers and seeming very deadpan, as it is just the top numbers and symbols that do not work. I could win the lottery and post about it, and it will look like this:

I won the lottery. Yay.

So, if I come off as very bored, now you know why. I promise, eventually I will get out and get a new one, or at least order one from amazon.

Back to the original point.

Night in the Woods. Holy crap. What can I say about this game that hasn’t already been said? I finally finished it up, and I couldn’t be more satisfied with a game. Now, I will do my best to leave out any spoilers, so if you have yet to play it and don’t want anything spoiled, it is best you leave now.

The game centers on Mae Borowski as our playable character. She is a pansexual, college dropout.

Mae comes home to have a “return to normalcy” so to speak, only to find out everything and everyone, including her friends in Possum Springs, have changed. Her friends include a hyperactive fox named Greggory, Greg’s boyfriend, a large bear named Angus, and a gothic crocodile named Bea.

You spend the majority of this game hanging out with your friends, and when you just say that, it sounds boring, but it’s not. These characters are very deep, and incredibly interesting, and I have to admit that there is a certain scene with Gregg in the woods that brought on the tear factor. You really find yourself feeling bad for all of them, as they all have their own problems, and to top it all off, you find yourself identifying with them. Me? I am totally Bea, minus dressing in all black.

The center of the game revolves around solving a big mystery. The answer to this mystery is a death cult of dads.

I think what I really enjoyed about this is that it is a “coming of age” game, but not in the way one expects a coming of age anything to be. When most people hear that term, they think “Blue Lagoon” type stuff, with the growth from children to teenagers, etc. This is a coming of age from teenager to adult, and learning that nothing ever stays the same. The childlike innocence that we all go through and pine for will always turn into adult problems. Nothing ever stays the same.

To hammer home this point, and by far my favorite part of the game, is the music. I have no idea who did the music for the game, and I really should look into it, because this person is talented. There wasn’t one moment in the game where I felt the music was out of place. There were plenty of moments where the music tugged at your soul and fit so well, one can’t help but tear up.

There is a scene with Gregg out in the woods, and he and Mae are talking about his past. The music here, which I will link, was beautifully done, and even listening to it outside of the game, one will find themselves reminiscing a time long since passed. I certainly did. It made me long for the days when I was young, and would play with my sister and cousins up in my grandparents’ woods, back when life was easy. Since then both grandparents have passed on, and I at age thirty-three, am the youngest of the cousins. Time really does go by too fast, and before you know it, it’s all over.

Gregg’s Woods

In all honesty, and this is a huge thing for me to say, but I would put the music of this game right up there with Chrono Trigger.

Yeah.

I said it.

That’s huge, because Chrono Trigger is one of the best games ever made, and the consensus is that the music from the game is top notch.

I am not saying the music from Night in the Woods is better, but it is definitely right up there with one of the all-time greats.

Should you find yourself wanting a different kind of game, definitely give this one a shot. You’ll laugh. You’ll tear up, and when it’s over, you’ll feel a big sense of satisfaction, with a slight hole in your soul because you wish there were more. It’s definitely a game where you leave feeling like you know the characters on a personal level. They almost feel real.

And in a sense, they are, because you will see yourself and your friends in these characters. Even though they are walking, talking animals, they are the most human characters I have seen in a game, in such a long time.

And coming from my old ass, that says a lot.

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The sky is a hazy shade of Winter

Oh boy.

It’s the first day of my least favorite season. I hate Winter. I hate the cold. I hate the snow. I also fully believe that anybody who likes these things cannot be trusted. So now, my countdown is on to the first day of Spring.

Where I live, we seem to get the worst Winter weather in late January into February. Rarely do we get snow in March, so I have about two months to go until the weather starts getting better, however, come Christmas day, the temperature is supposed to be in the sixties. That’s wonderful, and that makes me happy.

I know, dry your eyes, you who wanted a White Christmas. You’ll survive.

Secondly, the best thing has happened to be this year. I got Christmas over with. Yes, I am done with it. I handed out all presents, including my children’s, early! This means Christmas will be “just another day” for me, unless some of my friends choose to bring me shit on that day, despite my saying I don’t want anything.

My children received most of what they wanted and they cannot complain. Especially my youngest. I sent some packages off back in February (international) and one of them was returned. It was the one with a Thresh jacket from League of Legends, which my son enjoyed for a while, but has since moved on to more adult games.The jacket, however, was pretty bad ass, and he wanted it. The recipient truly doesn’t deserve it, but I being the “nice” girl I am, sent it anyways because it was purchased for them. With it back in my hands, I gave it to my son.

Finally, before I go– to the person who sent me a message that said, “Hey… Rebecca how are you.” Your profile needs to be verified. I don’t know who sent this, but I have a pretty good idea, and your answer is, I am just fine. I couldn’t be better. Most likely, we have nothing to speak about. So, don’t waste your time. You’re blocked for a reason. 🙂

And finally, I leave you with this. Did you know that I just recently found out that this song was originally done by Simon and Garfunkel?  I didn’t know. I thought it was a Bangles song.

Enjoy the first day of Winter, people, because God knows I won’t.

Hazy Shade of Winter

Blair Witch Boo: Book of Jump Scares.

I was asked by someone who was very hesitant to spend money on seeing the new Blair witch, about why I hated it so much that I could go on a rage fueled rant for half an hour. So, I’ll go more into that here. Now, if you for some reason, after all of the warnings, still want to see this and don’t want it spoiled, go away now.

I’m serious.

If you don’t like spoilers, you should go somewhere else.

I am going to add spoilers.

I will spoil the entire movie.

If you haven’t left by now, it’s your own fault that it gets spoiled.

Last chance!

If you’re still here, you get spoilers.

Okay, the movie starts off with James (Heather’s brother. She was the girl in the original movie) talking to Lisa about some footage that was uploaded to youtube. This footage, he thought contained a brief image of Heather, making him think Heather could still be alive (twenty years later? This movie supposedly takes place in 2014, btw). So he gathers up his friends and they decide to go look for her in the woods. The first problem I have with the movie starts here. Did I say problem? I should say PROBLEMS. The movie begins to shove technology in our faces. We have POV cams that you can wear on your ears! We have all new high tech digital cameras! We have DRONES (ya know, for aerial shots JUST IN CASE they get lost.). That drone, so you know, does nothing and winds up getting stuck in a tree. I am dead serious.

They go to talk to the original uploaders of the video and low and behold, they want to go with him. The guy’s name is Lane, and I don’t remember his girlfriend’s name so they’ll now be referred to as LANE AND HIS CHICK.

Here starts the movie plot demanding there be tension and conflict between the group. It wasn’t a building conflict like the original, instead, it was Lane and his chick had a confederate flag in their home, and James’s best friend Peter is black.

That is your conflict. So, Peter starts being an asshole to them, and it’s not just Lane and chick that he’s being an asshole to. He starts being an asshole to James like, “This is stupid. The Blair Witch isn’t real! Do you really believe this shit?” I mean, come on guy, his sister vanished in the woods, there are legends of a witch and you are being a fucking prick. I get it though movie, you have to have some type of conflict, but there were so many other ways you could have done this, yet you pigeonholed it in right off the bat.

So Peter’s chick (I seriously hated this movie enough that I didn’t take names) steps on a rock in the creek and cuts her foot. James being a paramedic patches her up and they continue forward.

Now, I was hoping that once night fell, that the movie would get a little better and ramp up. It didn’t. We are treated to a few “scares,” and the next morning they see the stick figures all over the place, and decide it’s time to leave. Come to find out, Lane and his chick were the ones who put them up and wanted them to believe the witch was real. The original group sends them away and Peter’s chick starts getting sick. The second night, she’s running a high fever and is delirious, due to the now infected “cut” on her foot.

Let me interject here. James is a PARAMEDIC.This man should see that this is a huge warning sign of septicemia. At this point, they should do whatever it takes to get an air evac team in there. I get you are deep in the woods, but with all that technology, you can do a little better than, “Oh we should take her to the hospital tomorrow.”

(At this point in the movie, I was getting very annoyed, and I don’t remember a lot of detail, so it’s about to get jumbled.)

Peter’s chick is cold so he leaves to go get firewood to build a fire. Of course, she’s cold. She’s dying from an infection, or so we think. While Peter is out, we are treated to big stompy sounds, trees crashing, and of course, a tree falls on his head and he dies. I was not saddened. During this time, Lane and chick come back, and to them, they have been lost for five days, even though only one has passed. Lane’s chick tries to steal food, and Peter’s chick got mad about the stick figures, snaps it in two, and Lane’s chick snaps in two and falls to the ground dead. Lane runs away.

During this time, Peter’s chick checks out her foot and pulls out a centipede-like creature from her cut with no fanfare. However, she sees the drone in a tree and decides to retrieve it. She climbs up the tree.

As she is climbing up, a friend beside me said “this chick is kind of bad ass. If anybody survives, it will be her!” I looked at them and said, “Yeah, but she won’t survive. Something will go ‘BOO’ and she will fall to her death.”

A few minutes later, that is just what happened. You know, as each person died, I felt relief because I knew the movie would be over soon. At this point, I had grown very tired of the jump scares. They were so cheap and sometimes it was one right after another. It was like this: *scene gets quiet as someone looks at something* *someone bumps into person with a loud DUNN sound effect* “HAI WHAT ARE YOU DOIN!?!” *person screams*

We are down to James and Lisa and what do you know, they find the Rustin Parr house and go in, or James goes in, because he heard Heather’s scream.

I will give the movie SOME credit that these final thirty minutes were fairly intense. It was the better part of the movie.

They show the original footage and their footage in real time, and we find out that the person in the reflection was NOT Heather, it was Lisa. So, the witch has time travel powers now. Bright lights are shone into the house, which makes it seem like the Blair witch is an alien. Eventually, we see the Blair witch and she’s Tree Beard from Lord of the Rings! Seriously, she looks like a fucking tree.

James tells Lisa to “Look into the corner. She can’t do anything if you don’t look at her!”

…. Are you referencing the original and why people were in the corner at the end? You know that wasn’t the Blair witch right? The reason people looked into the corner is because of Rustin Parr. When Rustin Parr murdered the children, he would have one stare into the corner while he killed another because he “couldn’t take their eyes on him.” It was like the one shred of humanity Parr had left while doing the witch’s bidding, keep the children from seeing the horrible murder he was doing to the other. God dang it movie, you fucked that up too!

Back on track. James and Lisa are staring in the corner, and James suddenly hears Heather’s voice, he turned around, and boom. Dead. Of course.

Lisa finds out she can use her camera as a rear view mirror of sorts to see behind her, look at the witch, and try to get out. Also, we find out that Lane is in the house. He is who was trying to lure them into the house as a sacrifice for the witch. Lisa winds up in a tunnel and tries to escape. It didn’t work. She gets back in the house, stares into the corner, sees the witch, and then she hears James telling her he’s so sorry. 😦 He’s so sorry. So what does she do? She turns around. Witch kills her. The end. Not TEN MINUTES after the witch imitated Heather’s voice and got James to turn around, which Lisa was witness to, she managed to somehow trick Lisa into actually believing it was James and not the witch. YOU SAW HER DO THAT TO JAMES, you idiot.

This movie was SHIT! My problems are a dime a dozen. Firstly, the original was subtle horror. You had to rely on your own imagination to fill in the details of what could be out there in the woods, terrorizing those three people. This movie? BOO! Jump scare! I swear I could hear the film crew going, “Boo! Got you didn’t we? Oooh, do you hear those big stompy monster sounds? You’re scared now, aren’t you? Oooo what is that? What could–BOO!!! Got you again!”

Except you didn’t “get me.” The jump scares were so predictable that Stevie Wonder could have seen them coming. Again, with all the trees crashing, and the stompy sounds, and the ground shaking, for the first hour, I thought the Blair witch was a dinosaur. It was way too “in your face” type horror, and I’m sorry, those types of movies are a dime a dozen these days, to the point where they are no longer effective, and for a Blair witch movie, that’s not a very good tactic. Then with all the lights at the end (where were these coming from? The scene looked like an Apache helicopter was outside the house with all the lights, the roaring and shaking.) my friend mentioned maybe she was an alien.

When you have people thinking the Blair witch could be an alien, you have messed up somewhere.

The characters were completely unlikeable, and honestly, when it comes to Lane and chick, they were completely unnecessary. You could have taken them out of the movie and it would have been the exact same. They weren’t even a sexy lamp trope! The confederate flag thing with Peter was so shoehorned in that it did nothing except make Peter look like an asshole, and truth be told, he was being one. I can understand the discomfort he had, but he was being an asshole to James, too. He was practically being antagonistic for no reason towards his best friend.

The drone added NOTHING. I was anticipating that we would see quick glimpses of the Blair witch through the drone, but no. It got stuck in a tree. It added nothing to the movie. It was just there because “technology!”

Finally, it wasn’t subtle at all. It demanded you be afraid. It demanded it so much that nobody was afraid. Nobody jumped because of how predictable it was. We had an eleven year old girl with us, and she didn’t jump. She wasn’t afraid at all. In fact, after the movie was over and we were discussing it, she said she’d give it a one star out of ten only because the last thirty minutes were decent.

Which leaves me with this.

In the last thirty minutes, we get a quick glimpse of a female figure who looks like she’s in a white coat, leggings, boots and a beanie. Her hair looks brown. I was hoping that since it was proven the witch has power over time, that they were transported back to where Heather and Mike (from the original) were in the house and running from the witch.

But no, the movie wasn’t clever enough for that, was it?

Seriously, this movie was a huge disappointment. This is why I rarely go to the theaters. I am cheap and I don’t want to pay money for a movie that will leave me raging on a blog. If you  liked it, fine. I hated it. I am not the type of person who likes movies to tell me to be scared, and is filled with jump scares, which we all have to admit, are EVERYWHERE these days. It’s been “jump scares” for the past couple of years. Has anybody ever played Five Night’s at Freddy’s? My point exactly.

Quick EDIT: I enjoyed FNAF! When it came out, it was different, and we didn’t really have anything like that. Not counting Night Trap for the Sega CD, among a few other games. FNAF is what Night Trap should have been. 🙂 So don’t take this as I hate FNAF. I have played them all, and I did enjoy them, but I am a bit burnt out on them.

People don’t forget. Nothing is ever forgiven.

You know, Red Dead Redemption is full of amazing quotes for a game that features a dumb cowboy for a protagonist. Don’t get me wrong, its one of my favorite games, and I love the Marston family, but one has to admit he lacks brains.

Today, I thought of something. Its been near two months since I last spoke to that Macedonian moron. That half ass apology on April 2nd doesn’t count, and I realized, aside from some deaths (I am not speaking of it. Its not wise to mention the dead) my life has gotten significantly better. No longer has my time been consumed by a moron with horrible music taste (only listening to ONE genre automatically makes you have no taste. Sorry.), who hasn’t played any good games (RDR? Chrono Trigger/Cross, FF6, Dragonage origins, Fable 2, Earthbound, Mother- -he’s never played them), and frankly he has the personality of a dustbin. He’s about as deep as a July puddle in Arizona. That leads into- –

The fuck was I thinking? I know what he was thinking (*cue Shane McMahons theme*), but my lapse in judgment is embarrassing. Not just that, but really he wasn’t that attractive either. I tried boosting his ego (he faked low self esteem) by saying he was attractive. Silly girl. Really, you aren’t that attractive, but at this point you could be 1990s Brad Pitt, and what you’ve done makes you uglier than an exploded pimple. You’re evil, sir. Evil enough that I can bad mouth you to the world and not feel remotely sad about it. Maybe when a real apology pops out of your mouth I’ll bad mouth others.

One question though, is there trouble in paradise? I hear the relationship is on the rocks (you will never be privy to who I get my info from. I know more people than you care to believe). I had to laugh when I heard about that.

But enough wasting my precious breath on you.

I spoke to a real friend, and I’ve decided to do a list of the best things to come out of every country I care to name.

Example: Britain could be tea. Ireland could be Guinness. Germany could be bratwurst. Denmark would be Aqua (Barbie girl song), Sweden might be Abba, and Macedonia would be… … uhhh. .. Vlado Janevski?

Clearly the list will be more comprehensive and should be fun to put together. So, stay tuned for that. Also, my next THIS IS DEEP, is coming. So, prepare yourselves!

Be well, guys!