Metal Sunday!

Today is Metal Sunday! I didn’t make a post yesterday due to too much going on, so today I’ll make TWO. You lucky devils. Today’s song is by a metal band (I’ll wait for some metal head to lay into me about how they aren’t metal, and how bad I suck) that I don’t much like. I like one song, and this is not it. I do like the guitarist as he’s quite talented, but the vocalist. . . Ugh. So, without any further adieu,  here’s “Chop Suey,” by System of a Down, or as I refer to it as, “God, I hate this fucking song.”

Chop Suey!

Wake up
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
(So the song starts off with a guy telling me what to do. That’s not a good sign. Put a little make up? Do you mean put ON a little make up?Did the lyrics mess up? Where do I put it? You didn’t specify.)
Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up
(Huh? Are you saying that I need to hide scars on my face to be okay with myself? )
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
(That’s where they belong. Where else should they go, Serge?)
Here you go create another fable
(Oh, I get it. You’re talking about metal chicks who lie about everything for attention. But that thing about the keys. .. you seem like you have ADD )

You wanted to
(No, you told me to do it. I didn’t want to, but you weren’t going to shut up until I did)
Grab a brush and put a little makeup
(…. this is annoying.)
You wanted to
(No, you told me to. )
Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up
(You said that already)
You wanted to
(No, YOU FUCKING TOLD ME TO)
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
(Oh my God, you’re annoying. That’s where they go so we don’t lose the keys!)
You wanted to
(No… you… told…. me. ..to)

I don’t think you trust
In my self-righteous suicide
(I don’t trust you know how to blow your nose without causing an aneurysm, let alone some self righteous suicide)
I cry when angels deserve to die
(Side. Die. They rhyme. It sounds deep. That’s all this lyric is. Typical metal.)

Wake up
(Oh Lord, here we go again)
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
(I’m imagining this guy as a boyfriend. Poor girl is trying to sleep, and he sits there and shakes her shoulder demanding she wake up and put on make up. She gets mad, and he tells her he didn’t make her, she wanted to do this! Talk about an asshole)
Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up
(*Head desk* shut up. Shut up!)
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
(Oh for fucks sake, SHUT UP!)
Here you go create another fable
(Is there a point to this repetitive nonsense? It’s like repetitive rap music. Just repeat the same shit over a generic beat, and you have a hit. Reminds me of, “stupid ho” by Nicki Minaj, but the difference is Nicki proves she can sing at the end of that song. Yeah she can sing. Unlike our friend Serge here. I know, with metal you don’t sing. You substitute talent for random growls and screams)

You wanted to
(I’m wanting to stuff a used rubber down your throat right now)
Grab a brush and put a little make-up
(I think you are singing this about yourself. Unironically and that’s sad)
You wanted to
(*Loads gun* Merica!)
Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up
(They have these great drinks at the fair called shake ups. Grab a corn dog, and you have a very American feast!)
You wanted to
(Huh? I stopped listening about 5 minutes ago. I’d rather endure a colonoscopy without anesthesia than listen to this anymore)
Why’d you leave the keys upon the table?
(I left them there to piss you off. If you want them left anywhere else, build a key rack. Can you do that, Serge?)
You wanted to
(I want to choke you right now. That’s what I want to do)

I don’t think you trust
In my self-righteous suicide
(No, I don’t. You should show me, and do it, and I’ll trust you. Scouts honor!)
I cry when angels deserve to die
(This is never ending is it? It’s like a five year old tried to write metal)
In my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die
(Next)
Father, father, father, father
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit
(Oh, are you self righteous suiciding right now? *Grabs popcorn* at least you provided a different fucking lyric!)
Father, into your hands
Why have you forsaken me?
(Because you wouldn’t shut up about waking up, make up, and keys. God gave up after the second verse.)
In your eyes forsaken me
(Don’t make references to Jesus. Jesus has been through enough without you ripping him off)
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken me, oh
(I think God is getting ready to hari kiri if he hears anymore of this)

Trust in my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die
(Good time to mention, I really hate this guys voice. The guitarist has a better voice. No, I don’t know the guys name. Its system of a down. Why would I bother learning all of their names? That’s like learning the names of the band Earth, Wind and Fire. Its just something you don’t do, unless you were dropped on your head a few times as a baby.)
In my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die
(Is it over? Thank fucking God)

Okay, System of a Down, I know you tried to be deep, and catchy, but that came off as the most idiotic crap I’ve ever heard. Its repetitive, nonsensical, and overall stupid. It really is like one of those bad rap songs.

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