When my best friend blocked me, it broke my heart. I cried all night, and off and on for the next few days. I still don’t know why. Then again, he–as far as I know, hasn’t returned from his vacation yet. So, I did what any heartbroken girl would do-sent messages from my sock account, messaged his mother, wrote a letter (did I mention I’m bipolar?)… even one of my friends he has spoken to before took it upon himself to create a Facebook account (he had sworn he wouldn’t ever join the masses there) just to send him a message to find out. Will I ever receive an answer? Have I lost one of the best friends I have ever had? Time will tell, but I have wondered that if he did do it on purpose, and not temporarily but permanently, what could I have done to hurt him so? I helped him, without complaint on anything he needed help with, because I cared. The real kicker in all of this is that I would forgive him, for anything, even if people believe he doesn’t deserve it. I will never speak ill of him, least I don’t think I will, because in spite of everything, he was/is a good guy.
Maybe that is my biggest fault as a person. These past two weeks have been hell on me. I’ve questioned everything and everyone, with no answers in sight, but I would forgive him.
I speak too much of this, but when a person finds a friend that they can connect with, laugh with, never argue, it’s special. He was special. Our friendship was special. You can’t say that about many things in life, but I can say that about our friendship.
This in turn is seeing my own absence from Facebook. I do need less distraction, and to work more, but I think a part of me is afraid I’ll never hear from him again. It hurts, so much more than I could have imagined, and they say time heals everything. Its strange. People are strange. Life is strange.
The oddest part is when I made the announcement that I would be taking a break from Facebook, many people clamored for my phone number, wanting to stay in touch, even though I won’t be gone long, and that made me feel nice. I felt needed for the first time in a while.
Again, I hope he can forgive me, and this will be the last I speak of it, unless by some miracle it was all a mistake.
So my message to you all is, when you find a friend who does everything in their power to help you, and make you happy, hang on to that. No matter what.
And to my friend, I wish you well. I’m also sorry for the dramatics, but that happens when you may lose something important in your life.